I find it hard to be proud of myself.
Despite succeeding academically, socially and in the workforce, I never feel like what I've done is enough.
This doesn't come from lack of support, as I have plenty, and I know I'm lucky to have any at all. This all comes purely from within and quite frankly it's exhausting.
November was a freakishly busy month for me and I feel that I need to take the time to toot my own horn a little bit because I need to hear that positivity from myself. I worked hard, I played hard and achieved a lot.
Here's to more months like November.
November is National Novel Writing Month. Last year I successfully completed a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. This year... not so much. I barely scratched the surface of 5000. Usually something like this would send me to the pits of despair, but this year, I'm thrilled that I even attempted it. That is still 5000 words that didn't exist in that order before this month. It is still a new thing that I created. How cool is that?
I also completely revamped this website and created a Facebook page for the site. I have made a commitment to myself that I will write at least three times a week with new and exciting content even if I'm the only one that sees it. Despite the fact that I sometimes drag my feet, I always feel incredibly accomplished anytime I press that "publish" button.
I went to lots of events this month, more than I usually go to in half a year. I attended an Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness concert with the lovely Sam and Roanna (it reminded me of why I see live music), watched Maria Bamford absolutely slay with the wonderful Karin (that was watching a true professional at work), gazed in awe at the ballet of Manon (never has twirling had me so transfixed), cried with laughter at The Book of Mormon (never has religion been so intriguing) and worked an amazing Canadian Television Festival. I feel truly well-rounded after all of that.
I worked two jobs this month, which is another reason for not getting as far as I would have liked on NaNoWriMo. The first was as an intern at a children's publishing company and the second was as a ticket manager for the television festival. Both kept me busy and at times it was a bit difficult to juggle both. That being said, it was an incredible rush to see projects from both jobs come to fruition and know that I had been a part of making them happen.
I also applied for a couple jobs, something I find incredibly difficult, as the internship will soon come to an end and the festival is on a more part time basis. I asked for informational interviews from professionals in the publishing industry (something that I will get into on Wednesday in my review of Amanda Palmer's book The Art of Asking) and tried to do as much preparation as possible in case I finish off the week and I am without a job. It will be tough but I'm feeling more confident that it will be something that I will handle with a certain amount of grace.
Not only was I working, I was attending a night course every Tuesday for Grammar. I had a midterm, a presentation, a quiz and an assignment all due this month and thankfully, everything got done, and got done well. When this course is finished, I will officially have my Publishing Certificate, something I will finally be able to tout on my resume. It definitely wasn't easy heading down to that class after work, especially since by that point of the day (and at this time of year when we only get about 7 hours of sun) I'm exhausted. I powered through, have yet to miss a single class and have done pretty darn well. That being said, it will be nice when it's over and I can get home at a reasonable hour.
This month was fun, stressful, exciting, boring, exhilarating and exhausting and I hope that I see more months like this in the future.