Here be spoilers. If you haven't seen the 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who, I suggest averting your eyes now as I will be discussing, well, everything. Also, it's going to be a rant so if you enjoyed this episode, you may not want to read what I have to say.
Ready? Alright, allonz-y!
So going into this episode I probably had higher than average expectation. This episode has been 50 years in the making, after all. Surely these expectations were reasonable.
Sadly, no. No they were not.
Coming out of the theatre, immediately my thoughts were, "well it wasn't that bad. They had that fun part and ooooh, what about that other thing? Yeah, that was good stuff and I enjoyed it immensely, but what about the rest? Would those few moments of happiness completely overshadow the rest of the, frankly lacklustre, episode?"
No. No they would not.
First and foremost, I must discuss the biggest instance of bad form which came in the shape of 'it was all a dream.' Yup, Doctor Who pulled the oldest cliche in the book. How? Gallifrey isn't destroyed. It's just in suspended animation. Surprise!
What a fucking slap in the face.
It really felt like the producers trying to take the easiest way out possible. Gallifrey, at the beginning of the episode is smack dab in the middle of the time war, where luckily, our War Doctor (played impeccably by John Hurt) has enough time to bugger off for a bit to the desert to do some meditating about blowing up his home planet. Seriously, he was gone for a really long time. I know that this show is about time travel, but seriously the whole world could have been destroyed without his help if he'd waited any longer.
Moffat of course has to completely reinvent the series and has to pull at our heartstrings while doing it. He had to use all those shots of scared and crying children. How could the Doctors possibly destroy their home world when there are children????? DEAR GOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
By completely changing the story you deny us what made The Doctor, The Doctor. You take away his soul, you take away his power and you take away why he does what he does, why he acts the way he acts, because you wanted a happy ending.
You made us care about this lonely Doctor who feels like he's destroyed his world everything he does and all his actions reflect that distress and heartache and then you completely annihilate any of that because WHOOPS, it didn't actually happen.
In the words of the great Malcolm Tucker, "fuckity bye."
This shit will not stand.
And don't get me started on Ten's complete change of characterization. It was like he was a completely different Doctor. Ten would never EVER hear the words 'Bad Wolf' without investigating thoroughly, going through hell or high water to get his answer.
So again, fuckity bye.
Of course there were all the missed opportunities between having Billie Piper and David Tennant back on screen together and have them share no airtime whatsoever.
There was the complete uselessness of Clara. Ugh, Clara.
The fact that the Zygons, even forgetting they are Zygons could still probably FEEL THAT THEY WERE ZYGONS! Idek anymore.
But alas, I can't completely ignore the good points, and there were a few. Every episode of Doctor Who always has redeeming qualities, despite its (many) faux pas.
We of course get Osgood, our wonderful fangirl of a scientist, who dons Four's scarf and is generally adorable.
We get some wonderful scenes between David Tennant and Matt Smith just riffing off of each other (though again, Ten would have been seriously freaked out about this MASSIVE space-time continuum issues. Le sigh) and just general hilarity.
We get Tom Baker, the wonderful Tom Baker, reprise his role as Four even though it really doesn't make sense but still I kinda loved it and I will ignore it because of reasons.
Also this: http://casey-kleins.tumblr.com/post/68186567415
I may have screamed just a little.
It was great to incorporate all The Doctors, just for a little bit (but seriously, next time guys, bring back Eccleston for realsies, kthnxbye!) and of course we get the very first glimpse of our Twelve, the always amazing Peter Capaldi.
FUCKITY BYE INDEED!
Also, Billie Fucking Piper.
So there you have it, folks. The 50th Anniversay rant/review. The thing is, this show still has me hooked. No matter what, the excitement, the adventure, the everything, I can't help but love it all. Here's to the 100th.