Sam and Dean are stumped about Dick Roman’s dig sites so Dean takes a hit off of his trusty Bobby!Flask and the lights promptly start flickering. Sam and Dean pull their guns on... Bobby who has apparated in the room. Bobby is still clueless as to how he can appear and takes that moment to disappear, leaving Sam and Dean a little more than frustrated. He pops back up again and conveniently tells the boys what he’s learned about the dig sites. They’re empty now, but won’t be for long. They’re building something, and we’re going to assume for all intents and purposes that what they’re building is not gonna be so good for our friendly neighbourhood hunters.
Turns out what is supposedly a Biotech lab is in fact a slaughterhouse. “And we’re the beef.” Yum. Sam wonders how Dick can possibly get away with this but Bobby shuts him down. Dick will soothe the savage beast by feeding everyone that weird meat that made Dean high which is now being served at a number of Dick purchased establishments. Next, Dick will cure everyone... of everything, which somehow means that they’ll be easier to kill? I don’t really get the logic here but that’s not the point. The point is we finally get to...
... a pair of stealth hands connecting wires to hard drives and we’ve finally arrived at the person I started writing this for to see. Felicia Fucking Day. I’m going to take this moment as our yet unintroduced heroine hack, hack, hacks her way into Frank’s hard drives to say that anyone who knows me, knows how much I adore this woman. She pretty much is my ultimate role model having created her own mini-empire about and for the things she loves, which is super awesome and inspirational. Here’s to hoping I get to meet this lovely lady at Comic-Con this year.
Anyway, my gushing aside, we’re back to Sam who’s just received an email from... Frank? How could that be? Turns out, Frank has an auto-response set up so that if someone attempts to hack into his stuff, his computer will automatically send an email to Sam and Dean warning them that someone is onto them. Frank, unfortunately, has plenty of info on our boys, info that would not be so great if it fell into the wrong hands. They are able to track the GPS signal on the hard drive and it is... at Richard Roman Enterprises. What did I say about wrong hands? “Perfect,” Dean says. “It’s in the middle of the Death Star.” Start counting these allusions. There will be about one million of them by the time this episode ends.
5 Hour Earlier.
Felicia Day shows up on her adorable scooter, puts on her adorable headphones and dances adorably to Katrina and the Waves’ “Walkin’ on Sunshine” as she enters Richard Roman Enterprises. We learn her name is Charlene Bradbury from her access card, and that’s all I really have to say about that. She makes her way to her cubicle, which is of course, adorned with a gazillion bobbleheads, and this will set off my main complaint about this episode which is the writers of this show hitting us over the head with “OMG FELICIA DAY IS A NERD, DO YOU SEE, SHE LIKES NERDY THINGS, LIKE HACKING AND HERMIONE, SHE IS SOOOOOOOOO NERDY, OMG,” and yes, that is one of the things I adore about Felicia Day is how much she revels in who she is and what she likes, but I honestly feel like the writers are kinda insulting their fandom right now. Most, if not all, Supernatural fans are just like Charlie but we don’t feel the need to scream it out to everyone around us. It’s not the only thing that defines us. It may be a large part of our lives, and we may love our geekiness with every fibre of our beings but it’s not all we are. I dunno. That’s just how I felt.
Aaaaannnnyway, Charlie taps away at her computer doing what seems to be illegal transfers of money, but I honestly have no idea. Her friend from the next cubicle over asks how ‘last night’ was and Charlie hands him her cell phone. He looks at her amazed, asking if she actually got laid at a charity ball. “If you can’t score at a reproductive rights function, then you simply cannot score.” Atta girl. This is where I give points back to the writers for not going the ‘frustrated virgin nerd’ route that they tend to go when people happen to like Star Wars in the SPN universe.
Cubicle!Friend asks if what Charlie is doing is legal. Glad I’m not the only one who’s curious about it. Charlie sniffs at him, saying she won’t get caught, her boss loves her, and I’m guessing she’s far down enough on the food chain that she doesn’t consider Dick Roman to be her boss. I don’t think he’d care for it. Speak of the devil, Charlie’s boss Pete rears his head and asks Charlie into his office. Speak of the Leviathan, Dick’s in there and asks Charlie for a favor. He knows of her little illegal hijinks, but doesn’t care. He thinks it’s cute. Dick goes onto to fangirl over Charlie, and dude, I totally get it, Charlie’s one of a kind. You can hack anything? Hack into Frank’s hard drives. The catch? Do it in three days, or you’re outta here.
Charlie goes back to her cubicle and banters Lord of the Rings allusions with her friend, consults her Hermione bobblehead, and then gets to work. Hacky, hacky, hacky, Frank’s super good at encrypting, but Charlie keeps trying, gets in, fist bumps her bobblehead, gets kicked out, and sighs. Back to square one.
Chez Winchesters. Dean says that they better hit the road to Chicago but Bobby shuts him down saying that everyone in that building has the images of Sam and Dean Winchester emblazoned in their brains. There’s no way they’ll get in without being caught. Bobby suggests mailing the flask to the building so that he’ll be able to use his new non-corporealness to flit around and see what he can see. Both Sam and Dean raise good points about how Bobby confronting his killer in ghost form might not be so good for anyone considering her may venge-out at any moment. Bobby’s pissed but the boys won’t relent. I’m sure angering the ghost is a great way to get him to stay in control.
Dick’s. Charlie’s been at Frank’s hard drive all night, and good on Frank for being so god damn paranoid. Not paranoid enough, however, because finally Charlie is given access. She peruses the folders on Frank’s desktop and sees one about Dick. She wobbles back and forth before giving in and clicking. She finds herself reading about Leviathan and learns all we have learnt about the disgusting creatures. The biggest bad? Mr. Dick Roman himself.
Charlie gets up and goes looking for Pete. Her cubicle friend says he must be down in the garage having a smoke...
... which is exactly right. Except, poor Pete has company in the form of Dick. Dick cuts Pete down to size right before his colleague literally cuts him down to size by taking a huge bite out of him. We pull back to see... Charlie, who’s seen the whole thing and is appropriately freaked the fuck out.
Charlie’s place. Charlie gets out a bag and starts packing her stuff. Good girl. One of my favourite thing about this character is how easily she accepts the horrible things that exist in the land of Supernatural. She’s been gearing up for this her whole life. Charlie gets a call from “Pete” and play-acts cramps to get him off the hook. Charlie turns to leave but Dean pops out and shuts the door. Charlie hilariously whacks Sam with a sword, which promptly breaks in two and tells the both of them to get away. Dean says they’re not Leviathans and pulls out a handy jug of Borax (seriously, I have no idea where he was hiding that) and pours a bit on him and Sam. He tells Charlie to pour some on her and she quickly complies. Charlie asks finally, “who the hell are you guys?”
Back at Charlie’s, Charlie interrogates the brothers and correctly assumes that if they’re monster hunters, there must be other monsters other than Leviathan out there. She then asks how they tracked her down and it turns out that Frank had one more trick up his sleeve and hacked into Charlie’s webcam. Sam asks if there is anything that Charlie can’t hack into and Charlie affirms that no, she’s the best. Charlie now has a new assignment: hack into Dick’s email. Dean wants to know more about those pesky dig sites. Charlie attempts but realizes that Dick’s email is on a private server. This means that they only way she’ll be able to get in is if she’s in Dick’s own office. And she’s the only that can do it. Oh Charlie. You picked a bad week to be indispensable.
Sam and Dean sadly confirm that since Charlie ostensibly has a target on her back in the shape of Dick, she really has nothing to lose by breaking in. The boys smile. They’re back in business.
Dick’s. Sam and Dean are in a van outside of DickCorp and Sam explains that he’ll loop the video footage on the security cameras which will give Charlie a 15 minute window. I don’t know why they don’t do it for longer but I guess Charlie is trying to test how quickly she can do it. Atta girl. Anyway, Dean notices something shiny in Charlie’s bag. It’s... Bobby’s flask. Son of a bitch. Dean calls Charlie and tells her to take care of it, he needs it back in one piece, please. He doesn’t go into details about how it’s the only remaining part of his surrogate father and it’s for the best.
Anyway, Charlie starts having cold feet, and rightly so, she did see her boss get eaten and I would bet she’s not craving that same fate. Sam figures out a way to calm her down (amidst an eye-rolling Dean, ugh, can he not?) and asks her what Hermione Granger would do. Despite a horrible lapse in judgment where Charlie is a Harmony shipper she confirms that Hermione Granger would kick some ass. And that’s exactly what Charlie Bradbury is going to do.
Charlie goes up the elevator and with a bit of security camera tomfoolery makes her way up to Dick’s floor... with Bobby at her side. Oh boy, this can’t be good. Charlie goes up to Dick’s office but sees a security guard and freaks out. Dean tells her that she needs to get by and that she should just flirt her way in. Charlie says he’s not really her type since, well, he’s a he. Dean asks if she can show a tattoo and Charlie hilariously says her’s is of slave Leia straddling a 20-sided die. That is an impressive image, I must say. Dean says he’ll help her out. You’ll just have to fake it til you make it.
Charlie makes her way over to Bill the Security Guard and does a decent job of convincing the guy she’s into him. With a bit of savviness, Dean gets her through and she’s at Dick’s office. Charlie hack, hack, hacks her way into Dick’s email (the password is W1NN1G btw). Bill the Security Guard is concerned for Charlie’s colon apparently, because I guess she’s been in the bathroom a long time and gets up to go look for her. Bobby ghosts his way into locking Dick’s door so Charlie doesn’t get caught. Of course, the noise of this alerts Bill the Security Guard and he opens Dick’s door up with a key.
Charlie appears from Dick’s bathroom and Bill the Security Guard scolds her for being in Dick’s office. Charlie, much more smoothly this time, continues to bat her eyes and gives Bill the Security Guard her phone number, while covertly checking the status on her hacking. Finally at 100%, Charlie grabs her USB and skidaddles.
Back in the van, Sam pours Borax into containers and Dean bitches. That’s basically it. And he calls Charlie, Veronica Mars, which puts a smile on my face.
Charlie’s cubicle. Charlie downloads the contents of the USB and sends it towards our boys. So far so good... until Not!Pete shows up. Charlie tells him that everything’s going well with the Frank hacking and she’ll get back to him soon. Pete leaves and Charlie gets back to work. Turns out Dick’s stopped his digs. Dean opines that he must have found what he was searching for. Anyway, there’s a package that’s on it’s way to Dick’s tonight, which is incredibly convenient for our heroes. Dean says they have to intercept it before the package makes it’s way into Dick’s hands. It’s arriving in 42 minutes. Tick tock boys. Dean asks Charlie for one more favour but we switch right to...
... Dick coming back to his building after some fancy evening. He speaks to someone about the package, and that person is waiting for the package as they speak.
Back at Charlie’s cubicle, Charlie grabs her USB and packs up and spins right into... Dick. Uh-oh.
Dick’s package-waiting friend comes into the airport and picks up the armored package. He drives off past Sam and Dean who have clearly failed in their mission.
Back at DickCorp, Package Guy brings up the package to Dick’s office. Dick can’t contain his excitement. They open it up and it’s... a Borax bomb. WHAAAAAA???
Two hours earlier. Charlie relays that the package will arrive in 42 minutes. Deans says he needs one thing: more time. Charlie smiles. “Let’s get you some.” She sends a message to Dick saying the package has been delayed. Bingo.
Back to the airport, we see Sam dressed as an airport employee switch the packages. Not sure where they got an armored suitcase, nor how they created a Borax bomb, but that’s neither here nor there.
Charlie’s cubicle. Charlie gets up to leave when she’s stopped by Dick. He asks her to show him Frank’s hard drive. This will be interesting.
Back at the airport, Sam and Dean look at their stolen treasure. Looks like they just risked their necks for some... clay?
Charlie’s cubicle. Charlie’s found, well, dick, on either Dick or the Winchesters on Frank’s hard drive. Bobby stands behind him, doing his darndest not to venge-out. Dick seems satisfied with Charlie’s work and tells her to send over the info. He continues to be a creepster for awhile but then gets the call that his package has arrived. Charlie books it out of there.
Unfortunately, not before Dick locks the building down. Charlie bangs on the doors to the exit to no avail. Bobby takes a stab and is able to crack the windows. Pete comes down but Bobby is in full on vengeful spirit mode. He sends Pete flying into Charlie, then goes after Dick. Sam and Dean torpedo into the office.
Charlie tells Dean that Pete’s Leviathan and he Boraxes the shit out of him. Charlie’s broken her arm from the beating Bobby just gave her and Sam picks her up. Dick’s about to go after our boys but not before Bobby has something to say about it. He sends Dick soaring. Sam and Dean take a ridiculously long time to leave but they finally run out.
In the car, Charlie asks why Sam and Dean didn’t kill Dick there and then. Fair point, Charlie. They say they can’t yet and Charlie understands that the really evil ones need the super special sword to defeat them. She promptly passes out and rightly so. Girl's done good, she deserves some quality unconscious time.
DickCorp. Dick screams at someone on the phone that he better get his package back before those pesky kids figure out what it means, or there will be hell to pay. Dun dun dun, I so don’t care.
Next day. Charlie and the boys emerge from a bus station, Charlie’s arm in a sling. Sam says that they’re incredibly grateful for her and Charlie tells them that they can reward her by never calling her again. Luckily for us, they’re going to break this promise. Anyway, Charlie’s not worried about starting her life back up again. “You think my name is really Charlie Bradbury? Please.” Touché, my friend, touché. She takes off, not of course, without a Vulcan salute. Until next time, Charlie.