t's Junior Year for Jenna and the gang and Jenna feels left behind.
It’s Junior Year for Jenna and the gang, and fuck, I did not realize they were so young, this show makes me feel ANCIENT. Jenna VO’s that everything is going through a lot of changes and she’s antsy. She tells us that she spent her summer macking on Matty, and therefore saw nothing of her two BFFs. Matty intones that they need to go in and start their year...
... which would be great if Jenna hadn’t been put into Creative Writing instead of Independent Study. She argues with *gasp* another faculty member that is not Val (I honestly didn’t think they existed) but no dice. She’s stuck.
Ming approaches Jenna and asks what she thinks of T’s new look. And... it’s actually awesome. T’s cut her long locks to a shoulder length ‘do and her hair seems way more vibrant and lively. She looks great. Anyway, Jenna asks if T did it for Ricky and Ming’s all hahahaha good one, and drops that Ricky may be the reason why Jake and T aren’t “online official.” This of course, shocks Jenna because everything is about her and she can’t possibly believe that Jake and T would still be together. But they are. Nauseatingly so.
Jenna switches tact and asks Ming what she was up to all summer. Ming apparently has learned Mandarin but she’s keeping it from the Mafia to get the edge on them. Ming bounces off to go talk to T and Jenna VO’s once more that she’s totally out of the loop of her friends’ lives. Jenna hears Val call out for “her girl,” and Jenna sighs in relief. Not so fast, J. Val skips over to air kiss with T. Guess some things do change.
Val’s office. Jenna comes in and Val’s face drops. She hoped it was T. Good lord. Anyway, Jenna wants out of creative writing ASAP, and could Val please do that for her? Val is all, no way, I’m the one that recommended you. Jenna’s clueless and Val tells her that when Jenna’s blog was public online, she saved a copy and sent it out to the teacher of the class, which is I guess what happens in high school in this fantasy land. Anyway, Jenna concedes that she’ll stay in the class, and this whole exchange really kept me on my toes, except not.
T’s Locker. Jenna finally speaks to T about her hair, because again, these are life-changing things, Jenna’s life really is a roller-coaster. T goes on and on about how amazeballs Europe was and Jenna’s bangs look really greasy and that’s what I’m focusing on right now. I do, in fact, feel for Jenna and her need to reconnect with her friends. But before we can get to that we hear... Ming screaming that she needs a tampon, which is lovely. This is apparently very exciting to T because I guess Ming’s never had a period before? Jenna of course, is still thinking only about herself and feels she’s being left behind and *yawn.*
Bathroom. T’s babbling about how great it is that now all three of their periods are in synch but Jenna negates that. T believes it must be because of Europe, which, sure, but this is yet another thing that Jenna doesn’t share with her friends and WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO? Anyway, they hear Sadie losing her lunch, and I guess Ricky cheating on her with another guy has really gotten to her cause she looks rough. And she doesn’t wash her hands. Ew. T says that everyone thinks Sadie’s preggers and everyone’s trying to figure out who’s it is.
Cut to Lissa guessing that it’s our good friend Ricky’s spawn. Apparently Ricky has given his credit card to Lissa to give to Sadie so she can get herself a little treat, to make up for him being a total douchnozzle. Sadie’s not having it, and has no interest in taking Ricky’s cash. Girl, I would re-think that, considering your financial situation. I digress. Lissa makes a comment about Sadie’s food habits, which will not end well for you, Lissa.
Lunch with Jenna and T. T continues on her “Euro-brag” and I agree with Jenna. Cut that shit out. Jenna wonders where Ming is and T says that she’s sitting with the mafia, to catch up from over the summer. Jenna takes this opportunity to tell T that she really wants to talk to her. But Jenna, haven’t you learned yet that you are not going to get your way this episode? The script just simply won’t allow it! She gets interrupted by... the guy formerly known as Jake, but I’m sure could be going by the name of Longines because this guy is nothing like our sports loving homeboy from last year. He’s so flaming, you’d think he’d caused T’s hair to look like it’s caught fire.
Anyway, they’re super lovey dovey, and I’m already over this. Jenna is too, but not before she’s given front-row access to pictures of Euro-macking. Jake’s become the male version of T, and quite frankly, one T was fine enough for me. T, amazingly, realizes they’re being rude and asks Jenna what she wanted to say. Jenna is not thrilled to have to share her news with both her BFF and her ex so she just tells them about her new creative writing course. Jake warns her the teacher is supposed to be totally horrible...
... horribly amazing, because he’s being played by Anthony Michael Hall, and every thing in this episode that I wasn’t loving has gone completely out the window because it’s FUCKING ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL, OKAY? Of course, the first person he picks on is Jenna and asks her who she thinks she is. She responds with “student in your class,” but duh, Jenna that’s not right, only Anthony Michael Hall can tell you who you are, and y’all better just deal with that. Anyway, because the script says so, Anthony Michael Hall is a hardass, and he makes people cry, but he makes me weep with joy, so fuck all these characters, just let me watch Anthony Michael Hall. Also he sprays them with water like they’re cats, and I can’t deal.
He gets the whole class to write, anonymously, about their greatest fears. Before he goes over them, he gives everyone a release form that says “I give you permission to psychologically torture my child,” and can he stay forever, please? Extra With Lines next to Jenna, who I assume will become important as I’ve seen promo pictures of him, makes a comment to Jenna about Anthony Michael Hall, and don’t you dare diss Anthony Michael Hall, son. He makes fun of everyone’s, and I would care, but it’s Anthony Michael Hall, so I can’t. Anyway, he points out one in particular: “I’m debating my fear of life and death, and wondering if it should be my choice.” Anthony Michael Hall tosses this aside as a passing suicidal thought, but Extra With Lines, who’s name is Colin, says it’s obvs about someone being knocked up. Everyone’s eyes go to Sadie. Jenna decides she feels for Sadie and...
... approaches her in the quad. She tells her that it’s gonna be okay but Sadie shuts her down real quick, with an amazing “you’re welcome,” and Jenna realizes for the millionth time that today is just not her day.
Matty, very cutely, I might add, walks Jenna to her door and Jenna confesses that she’s feeling pretty low and she’s scared about “being alone. Forgotten.” I appreciate her being open because honesty is going to be in short supply coming up.
Jenna comes in and chats with her mom. Lacey wants to know how Jenna’s day was, and Lacey’s pretty bored by the response until Jenna tells her that a girl in her class might be pregnant. Lacey is immediately engrossed, and must know if she knows the girl. Jenna says that she does, and then Lacey asks if she likes this girl. “Depends on the day.” Kind of a weird thing to say about Sadie. Lacey considers this, and tells Jenna to be kind. This girl’s in for a world of pain if she goes through with her pregnancy and it always helps to have people on your side.
Later, Jenna calls T. T’s super glad Jenna’s called... but not for the reason’s Jenna thinks. T’s freaking out that Jake hasn’t called in three hours. Ugh, this relationship is tiresome. Of course, once she says this, he calls, and T leaves Jenna to stew in her own, lonely juices.
Jenna goes onto blog and that for once, today, she’s not thinking about her friends and being left behind, but thinking about something left behind “one summer night.” It turns out, it wasn’t Sadie “debating a fear of life and death.” It’s Jenna. Because... she thinks she’s pregnant.
Lacey, apparently, thinks so too as she waves a pregnancy test in front of her daughter's nose. Not sure why she had one so handy, but there you go.
Jenna comes out of the bathroom, having peed on her stick of fate. Lacey asks how it happens, and Jenna said they didn’t use protection, but it was only once, I swear. Lacey’s been there and pats Jenna on the head, and Ashley Rickards’ face is pretty priceless. Lacey says that there’s nothing to worry about, if she is in fact pregnant, it won’t be so bad. She then proceeds to tell her all the bad things that’ll happen, and thanks for being a great parent Lacey, you were doing so well.
She does redeem herself by telling Jenna that whatever Jenna’s decision is, she will support it. So, good on you, Mom. Jenna, foolishly, says she’d obvs keep the baby, and uuuugghhh, I get why she says it, but, really Jenna? Really? Luckily, Jenna’s eggo is not preggo, and...
... neither is Sadie’s. Lissa asks Sadie once again, and gives her a list of symptoms Sadie’s been experiencing that clearly means she must be pregnant. Sadie shuts her down and finally explains. She’s stressed because... she’s broke. Her parents have lost all their money but she doesn't want anyone to find out. I feel like telling Lissa would not be your best course of action, but whatever. Lissa calls after Sadie and asks if she wants her to tell Ricky. “Ricky is dead to me.”
T overhears and agrees. She tells Jenna that her and Jake DTR’d the night before, and I’m shocked they hadn’t already, considering their over-zealous PDA. Anyway, T feels super bad that she hasn’t been there for Jenna and tells her to say what’s going on. Jenna takes a deep breath to explain... but suddenly everyone’s phones start ringing and it’s like we’ve fallen onto the set of Gossip Girl. Everyone’s getting a text, and I’m genuinely curious as to who’s sent it. We pan over various girls screaming throughout the quad until we get to a screaming T. Val sidles up to her and Jenna, horrified: “Ricky Schwartz... es muerto.” DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN.