“You’re the answer, son. You’re the answer to “are we alone in the universe.””
— Jonathan Kent
Anyone that knows me well knows that I'm a DC girl. As great as Marvel characters are (and the films based on them have been mostly hit after hit), I was brought up on DC and they're who I hold allegiance with.
That being said, I feel like watching Man of Steel was essentially taking a torch to my childhood and burning it to the ground.
What. A. Travesty.
I'll post my big SPOILER ALERT here, because everything that comes after this is fair game.
You ready? Here we go.
I'm not going to get into everything that drove me absolutely crazy about this movie because I don't think it deserves my attention. The 75 year-old character the movie is based on deserves my respect, however, and I will therefore try to explain some of the things that were done in this movie that sullied the Superman name.
He was Superman for all of five minutes. No one knew who Superman was and suddenly everyone is faced with not one but TWO aliens wrecking (extreme) havoc on their planet. It just didn't make sense. And then by film's end, he creates his alter-ego and goes to work at the Daily Planet. Like, what? It was so counterintuitive and just unnecessary.
Jonathan Kent. Dear fucking God. Jonathan Kent couldn't have been more preachy lest God himself poked through the clouds and spoke through him. As bad as that was, he pretty much advised Clark to let an entire busful of kids die just so his secret didn't get out. Also? He martyred himself. For a fucking dog. And. Clark. Didn't. Save. Him. *screams in frustration*
They changed the lore. What the fuck was that bullshit about the "S" on Superman's suit meaning hope? IT'S A FUCKING S! GAAAAHHHHHH! Did no one read the comics? Jesus!
Here's the biggest offence.
SUPERMAN KILLED ZOD.
I was willing to let most things slide in this movie but this just made me absolutely livid. Superman lives by the strictest moral code, so much so that it's almost painful to watch, but that's what makes him Superman. Under NO circumstances does he kill. EVER. NEVER. Not to save Lois, not to save his parents, not to save some random person in peril. Superman never takes lives, he only saves them.
I can't believe that he wouldn't have been able to come up with another way to stop Zod. I can think of three right now: pull Zod's gaze up so that his laser-eyes move up and the people can escape; fly away with Zod; sacrifice himself. Superman would rather take any kind of bullet then let an innocent person get hurt. He would never be the one to pull the trigger.
(I have a lot of feelings.)
Final Tally: From the ridiculous premise, to the horrifying ending, Man of Steel was anything but super. The movie get's it's 1.5 stars for casting the amazing Henry Cavill (holy crap, I could stare at him for days) and the 10 seconds we see of a LexCorp gasoline truck (nice little Easter Egg). You know it's bad when I'm more excited to see Seth Rogen and his buddies combat the apocalypse than my favourite superhero. Shame on you, Snyder. And shame on you, Christopher Nolan, for associating yourself with this. Here's hoping that this doesn't make people give up on the promise of an actually decent DC movie. Lord knows we need it now more than ever.
I give this film 1.5/5 stars.