She’s felt like a widow for a long time now.
Now that that’s her official status, however, she is unable to deny the crushing emotional blow to her solar plexus when the police finally came for her. To her. Walt made sure they’d never come for her. She can feel the elation rolling off her sister in waves but luckily Marie has the decency to keep her mouth shut. Skyler doesn’t know if she’d be able to keep herself from throttling her.
Because even after everything, seeing her husband that one last time still sent a familiar rush of faded love and happiness. The anger and disgust was starting to wear on her. It took so much energy to feel mad all the time. She was tired of feeling tired. Because in some deep dark part of herself, she had liked it too. Despite the affair and despite how it ended, Skyler White had enjoyed the power.
She knows she can’t hold a funeral despite her need for one. Flynn wouldn’t stand for it, not to mention Marie. Of course Hank’s was a roaring success. Every Tom, Dick and Harry was out to celebrate the life of the amazing DEA agent who gave his life hunting down the criminal mastermind known as Heisenberg. Her husband. Her Walt.
His funeral would be a media frenzy. Because the funeral wouldn’t be for her husband. It would be for the man who turned Albuquerque upside down.
Skyler takes drag after drag of her new pack of smokes. How ironic if she were the one to die of lung cancer. It almost makes her laugh. Almost. Skyler can’t remember the last time she laughed. Or even cracked a smile. Marie can’t stop beaming when she doesn’t think Skyler’s looking.
Her mind wanders over to the kid. Pinkman. Jesse. She can hardly believe that she once thought he was selling pot to Walt. She can’t believe that that used to be the biggest problem in her life.
She wonders where he is. His body wasn’t found amongst the neo-Nazi wreckage of a meth lab where they found Walt. Walt. Alone. In the lab. Where he was always meant to be.
And now here she sits. Alone. Continuing to puff raggedly until all that’s left is ash. Soon that’s what Walt will be. But it’s okay. She’s felt like a widow for a long time now.