I come to you with free time on my hands. Well, not exactly free time, I'm sure there's plenty I could be doing, like learning a new skill, updating my archives on Mind the Gap, researching job opportunities... but I kind of just sit.
I have a pile of newspapers at my feet with plenty of great information that I would love to learn about but I can't find the focus. I have two brand spanking new comic books that I love but haven't cracked them open yet because I just don't feel like reading. And I don't feel like looking at a screen either so writing this is becoming increasingly difficult.
There are days where I am completely uninspired to do anything. I know that this is symptomatic of depression. Nothing "sparks joy" as the kids are now saying (or at least fans of Marie Kondo) on certain days. I don't even want to be on Tumblr or play games which is definitely the lowest I get (I can't even handle distractions).
So what do I do in these situations? Well... I write about them. It's the only thing I can do. And it's a topic I come back to again and again because it's something that I have yet to completely overcome, and perhaps never will.
However, when I'm able to get the feelings out, and when I can wrap my head around the idea that not every single day needs to be filled to the brim with productivity (though, few days truly are), I can start giving myself a little bit of a break. It's okay to not want to read today. It's okay that nothing holds that much appeal. Because in five minutes, ten minutes, 10 hours time, things could be completely different. And this idea of being "stuck" got me writing on this site again after many months. That's something.